Pay to feel your body somewhere on the planet

This is an edited transcript of a lecture performance done on the island of Møn, at På Den Anden Side, part of Hosting Lands, a decentralized exhibition movement unfolding around land.

Welcome to our Spa Empire. Here's a little background.

In 2021, the current Prime Minister of Denmark says “WE CAN’T PROMISE ZERO ASYLUM SEEKERS BUT WE CAN CREATE A VISION, LIKE WE DID BEFORE THE ELECTION, THAT WE WANT A NEW ASYLUM SYSTEM AND THEN DO WHAT WE CAN TO IMPLEMENT IT,” she continued.

Denmark's government has promised that Denmark would accept up to 500 refugees. But Denmark has received far less in the last several years. Last year Denmark scratched the bottom. They only took 1(! ) quota refugee. In the light of the massive focus on refugees and the constant discussion about returning them, it might come as a surprise to many that refugees only made up 1% of all foreigners who were granted residence permit in Denmark over many years.

Welcome to my our spa empire, let's do art

I'm here to tell you a rumor

My name is Cassandra Thornton, and I am a spa entrepreneur.
When I see land and I see people, I see a big opportunity

I may not look like it because I seem so young (tbh it is an illusion, as I am 700+), but I've been a spa entrepreneur for a very long time. I can't tell you all of the experiences that I've had opening successful spas, but I can explain some of the market sensing that I've done in recent times. For example, in Oakland, California, in 2019 I was the entrepreneur who started Desperate Holdings, Real Estate & Landmind Spa (order the pamphlet here). I did it because I realized that there was a relationship between real estate and spas. Have you ever noticed that?

Here's a promotional video about the spa.

In the spa clients could get spa services designed by people who would soon be removed from the city. In the image you can see below, there is a person holding a bag with some clay in it. This person would soon be removed from the city, as we all would.

This clay is San Francisco real estate from the financial district. In the process pictured above, people could get rid of their survivor's guilt (the guilty feeling that they survived/found housing while other people didn't survive). In a boutique real estate agency within a brutal rental market, of course there was a gift shop. Clients could buy a little bit of real estate that they could wear, even though they would not ever be able to afford to touch it, enter it, or to live within it.

Okay, let's breathe. We are talking about spas, and things get a little bit intense, everyone should inhale and hold their breath.

Imagine where you are right now. Now imagine that it's a spa. Open your eyes and exhale. What an improvement.

I'm now going to present to you my most recent successful spa experience in this market-sensing life I am living. Be fruitful and proliferate, right? I also produced the Social Spa for Collective Mutation in Baden, Switzerland. This spa came because there seems to be a relationship between crisis and spas. Have you noticed that?

Now. I'd like to show you a promotional video about the spa.

In the Social Spa for Collective Mutation, we offered special services for people who knew they needed to change but they weren't sure how. They could use their body to heat the water that was made cold by an extreme amount of Swiss Francs. They could also throw plates and scream about the feelings of powerlessness connected to their privilege.

I want to share with you something vulnerable. Something that's happening inside of me right now: and that's my parafictional market-sensing idea number three. And I think you might know what I'm talking about, because when I see land and I see people, I see an unbelievable opportunity.

And that's right where we are, right here, right now. We are on Møn, an island that's a part of Denmark. Imagine a spa here in a country that only accepted one asylum seeker last year. Imagine a healing place run by people seeking asylum, escaping war and extreme climate disaster, who need access to land and safety now.

Imagine a spa run by people who know how to survive a genocide and how to heal themselves anyway, even in the worst conditions. Imagine that these people design creative healing services. We call them artists.

Our business plan. One, we find artists seeking asylum, while we assume that everyone is an artist. Two, these artists design healing services for people escaping difficult situations, which is everyone. Three, these artists host a spa here. Four, we use the land together. Five, we get rich because more people equals more rich.

I'm an entrepreneur because I have great ideas. My branding idea for the spa is that we say as a subtitle: we are all fleeing violence on some level, some more than others. But we're missing is a title.

What do we call it? This is a democracy. We know that it's about voting time in Europe, and we know that we love democracy, so we decided to make the process of naming this spa, which will happen on your land, completely democratic. I made a list of options, and we can read them out loud together.

Let's inhale, and on the count of three, we'll read these completely democratically produced titles for the new spa that we will build on your land, together. Let's try to stay in sync. 3-2-1, Inhale. Exhale.

Island Oasis Spa, Deep Reparation Spa Zone, Zen Path to Liberation Spa, Touch of Extremely Temporary Tranquility Spa. Lavender Fugitivity Spa, Blissful No Borders Spa, Escape Together Spa, Float Away from Violence Spa, Pure Bliss Survivor Spa, The Pampered Post Nations Palette. Spa, la la la la I can't hear the sirens Spa, Soothe and Groove Spa, Aqua Therapy for Water Stress Spa, Fugitive Floating to Safety Spa, Refugee Reality Finesse Spa, A Place to be Safe for a Moment Spa, Vitality Against the Odds Spa Dermatology and Whiteness Undoing Spa, Rhapsody of Righteous Deep Restoration Spa, The Art of Escape and Relaxation Spa, Mermaids Lagoon Spa, Nourishing Nature Spa, We Are Nature Defending itself Spa, Sorry for Colonialism Spa, Enchantment Beyond Self Care Spa, Asylum, Sanctuary and Serenity Spa,

There's more choices.

The soprano spa, not another massage. Spa, everybody can read these together. Smooth sailing out of the Mediterranean. Mediterranean spa, we survived. Spa, the spa. Tacular. World, reparations and relaxation station, we just barely survived. Spa, social medicine and SOS. Spa, a touch of collective survival. Spa. Spa, not so squeaky clean, still real spa, the little days we have left. Spa, Sugar and Spicy. Spa, the post avoidance, Zen Den. Spa, the social transformation. Pamper, pooch spa, the snuggle up to reality. Spa, Vogue. Spa, we have no idea what we are doing on this planet. Spa, please help me to get free spa, the seraphim spa, the illegal regal room of purity, the spa, after we take Versailles for the people,

During this slide, it's important that everyone in the audience thinks about what they would like to name the spa. You can turn to your neighbor and have a discussion for the next 30 seconds about what you think would be the best name for the spa. In order to keep us on time, I'm going to count down into the microphone from 30 when I'm done, I'm going to ask you to say your choice out loud so that we can have a democratic experience.

3-2-1

Now you can all yell your democratically selected title for the name of the spa that will go on your land.

I'm going to be calculating the results so you can just breathe. Just relax!

Ok, we are getting close to the results. Everyone close your eyes for a sec.

I want you to know that we use the most democratic process as possible, but it's impossible to settle the results of the name of the spa that will go on your land.

Never Settled Spa will be the name of the spa because we could not settle the votes. The subtitle, as we said before, is: we are all fleeing violence on some level, some more than others.

I'm going to go back to the original slide I began with today. It's going to be bittersweet, because now it's not just a rumor. I'm sure you all agree that this is the truth. It's the end of the world. All we really want is to pay to feel our bodies somewhere on the planet.

When I see land and people, I see opportunity. Get ‘er done. Thank you.

POSTSCRIPT: A spa is on Møn is in development for Summer 2025!